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It has past. Exam is finished. It feels now like the calm after the storm, the end of the world's destruction just like in 2012. And now I'm sitting here with a nose running faster than Usain Bolt, trying to think up of things to type out here.
I've always told myself that if possible, I try not to make posts in my blog about me. Why? Because it is so typical for bloggers to put sooo much about their narcissistic selves. What I ate for my lunch. What I did to waste 5 hours of my time. Please. What is in your stomach, stays there and who would want to know how boring you were back then?
I would like people to blog about something that really matters. It's not a standard everyone must adhere to, but at least write about something that interests people. Talk about something interesting, some events you had, how nice people were to you, what you think of this and that.
Blogs are more meant to speak what you think, not what you were doing.
And here we enter a time warp...that separates the above text from the coming one below. Yes, my friends. It took me a month to post it up. From November to December. Guess I just didn't have the mood, with holidays, gaming and stuff.
A lot of things have happened during the holidays, and I'm not really sure how to post it all up. It might have been fun, it might have been worrisome, and it was a little out of everything. As I sit here typing all this, I still wonder what actually to fill this blank space of blogging. A type a sentence. Pause. Type again. Think. It has never been this hard, wonder what's going on.
Have you ever had moments where you wished that you can experience how people were feeling then? Peering through people's memories by blogs, somehow we get this feeling that we wished that we could enjoy the splendor of company. You feel envy. Maybe it's a sign of loneliness, that we want a sense of belonging. A sensible person would know how to handle it but never be able to shrug it off completely. Somehow one would feel he wished that he was in the comfort of the friends he wanted to be while the friend was having fun without him.
Have you ever had moments of self-reflection? You just think about yourself. Not narcissism like i mentioned, but thinking about why we act that way. Not many people can think of themselves in an analytical way. "We aren't robots or sheets of data", so say people, but failure to analyse yourself is failure to understand yourself. It could be about anything, like why would I get so angry and always lose control to seek revenge? (example) If identify this problem of this and calmly look into it like a normal problem, hey, don't we feel better in the end? An eye for an eye makes everyone blind, yet I wear glasses. :D
Wow that just sounded like Oprah. :S
Sometimes I do wonder how I get the inspiration to wiggle my fingers over the keyboard going 'Tap, tap' on the keyboard to write some stuff like this down. I find music quite inspirational. Some nice music, meaningful lyrics to bring some tone into writing work. Music is my key generator. Haha.
But another side, I feel somewhat tired to post stuff here. I mean, come on, who actually reads this. A person or two? You gotta be kidding me. You can say no, but it shows man. They say assumption is the mother of all f*** ups, but it apparently happens in everyone. It's easily assumed that the posts here won't...
get far.
When We Were Beautiful
One
In my school, they're having debate auditions, the motion is :
"Is it morally permissible to take an innocent life to save the lives of many others?"
As you know, in a debate, everyone's a hypocrite, each having own ideas on what they're gonna say, yet in the end switch sides, switch points just to win.
So, in the end, is it morally permissible?
I've heard many good points and negations from listening to the many debaters, especially from ISKL this year. At the way you look at it, maybe it is worth it. Lets say if you just sacrificed one person, you can save the lives of a hundred people in hostage. Bear in mind that this single person is COMPLETELY innocent. But then they will say lives cannot be valued. Life has no value. One is not directly worth another or more. It isn't proportional.
On the other hand, what if it was a beggar you was sacrificing? Changes your mind? Debaters then counter by saying what if it was Mother Theresa you're letting them kill to save the lives of 100000 people. What if it was President Obama.
In many religions, it says never to kill. But tell me, what if the world was about to end, and you had to kill just one clean person to save everyone? Still have any qualms?
But the main problem is that is it morally right? When you look at saving so many others, maybe yes. Then debaters say, would you kill your mother to save your entire family? In a heroic way, yes. But then they would ask you if killing your mother is moral. They would have led you halfway towards their side of the motion.
Life cannot be valued, yes. Reminds me of the time I watched The Dark Knight. The part where the Joker had held two boats full of people hostage. One was with civilians, the other with prisoners. If one didn't bomb the other boat, then they will end up dead. In the end, they could not do it. The civilians realised that though they were criminals, those were still lives.
As for as I know, in Buddhism, you are not allowed to kill. No one has the right to take the life of another. Under any circumstances. Even mercy killing.
So tell me, would you rather see the one you love suffer in inhumane pain, or end his/her misery and kill her? Though how much he/she begs for death, if you kill her your hands will be of sin and blood. But that's what I do not understand. We cannot kill, I understand that, but..they asked for it. Isn't it supposed to be an act of compassion? Yet, we are not allowed to take the life of another. It always comes down to the dilemma of great suffering, or to end one's misery.
This post was inspired by Metallica's song, One. If you read the lyrics I'm sure you would understand.
I cant remember anything
Cant tell if this is true or dream
Deep down inside I feel to scream
This terrible silence stops me
Now that the war is through with me
Im waking up I can not see
That there is not much left of me
Nothing is real but pain now
Hold my breath as I wish for death
Oh please god,wake me
Back in the womb its much too real
In pumps life that I must feel
But cant look forward to reveal
Look to the time when Ill live
Fed through the tube that sticks in me
Just like a wartime novelty
Tied to machines that make me be
Cut this life off from me
Hold my breath as I wish for death
Oh please god,wake me
Now the world is gone Im just one
Oh god,help me hold my breath as I wish for death
Oh please God help me
Darkness imprisoning me
All that I see
Absolute horror
I cannot live
I cannot die
Trapped in myself
Body my holding cell
Landmine has taken my sight
Taken my speech
Taken my hearing
Taken my arms
Taken my legs
Taken my soul
Left me with life in hell
I watched the music video. It was saddening, really. This man served as a soldier. But he ended up getting blasted by a mine. And he was in something like a coma. But his inside was conscious. He couldn't move, couldn't talk, couldn't see. He was treated so intensively, with tubes all attached to him, his face covered. The only thing he could do was speak to himself by thoughts, oh how he wailed and cried inside because he could not do anything, he had nightmares in his sleep. How he wanted his misery to end. And he wanted to die. He conveyed the message by Morse code with his fingers. And yet in the end he was left to live, just lying in the hospital, no knowing what will come next, all because his superiors would not let him die. Left to suffer in pitch black, and totally unable to tell whether he was suffering in reality or was it all a dream.
Honestly, if it was the matter of the whole world or taking one's life, I cannot bring myself to do it. :/
Saturday, October 24, 2009
Quickie To Black
Okay, I'm gonna make this real quick. It's 1 a.m here, I gotta wake up early tomorrow.
I'm hell of a busy this weekend, can't see Wobbles and Cuddles much.
Who's Cuddles? Well it's the rabbit. The rabbit that is the exact same one from Happy Tree Friends that gets so brutally murdered so often.
Finally finished my speech about paradoxes, though I don't think it is completely that good yet, still lacks factual content. Though I'm afraid if I make it more factual, people won't understand, and yet a rule in speaking is to never dummify your speech, if people don't understand, let them stay stupid. Gosh, retards.
I'm really happy that Design Your Universe is out, I absolutely love it.
~~Sometimes I feel like I don't have the words
Sometimes I feel like I'm not being her
And then I fear I'm feeling nothing more
Sometimes I feel I don't want to change
And think we all have to rearrange
And now I feel there's no more losing me~~
-S. Rose
Sunday, October 18, 2009
Re-presentation/ representation/ presentation/ whatever
Lately I've been very intrigued with this quote:
"Don't cry because it's over, be happy that it happened"
This means a lot...for everything...
Okay, presentation time:
If you weren't as blind that I think you are I think you would notice that I finally have a pseudonym for the author of the blog. Some of you might be familiar with the name, well for those people, YOU HAD IT COMING.
Why a girl's name? Oh, I don't know. Perhaps the same reason people name ships in the name of ladies. The S.S. Ruby. The R.M.S Helga. 0.0
Perhaps its the same reason why you call it two DAUGHTER cells, not two son cells.
It might be some sort of chauvinism, but I'm not sure which way. But just let things be. It's better to not oppose it :D Same way, aren't you glad that it is Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve?
Hmm, maybe I'll start naming the stuff around me with girls' names just to make my point. I've already named my yoyo as 'Esther'..maybe I'll name my handphone 'Jeanette' instead. ROFL. xDXDXD.
Why do I insist i put characteristics (just names =.=) of the opposite gender? I dunno. Lol. Even in game I wanna make my character female. Just for the fun of it. Haha. In reality children usually have a stronger affiliation and affection towards the parent of the opposite gender. Maybe it works these days too. It's all psychology.
Representation..many times I've thought before, what if there's someone that you THINK you know over the Net, really turns out to be someone else? Lets say you like this fella very much. You met on the Net and chat a lot over the net. Little would you know that that person is actually of the same gender. 0.0 Congratulations, you've just made yourself one step closer towards the confusion of your sexual orientation.
Ahh..the power of the Net. With it you can PRESENT yourself as anybody whom you want to be. What if I, who you chat with on the net, turns out to be someone else? What if it was a girl named Sophie? That's why playing with the Net is quite dangerous. You can't simply open up so freely..even JY once chatted with my mom instead of me :D
That's why in my opinion, hooking up with someone you meet on the Internet is plain stupid. Unless you know the person, in real life. Some people might say, "NO! I know her/him very well! I chat with her everyday!" Wake up, stupid. On the Internet even I can act as anything I want. I swear I can act as a chick and flirt with you and you wouldnt even know it's a 16 year old boy behind one end of the computer screen laughing so hard until he accidentally shuts down the computer. I can act cute, helpless, Ah-Lianish, act cool, all just to attract strangers.
I never will do such things with my friends. I hope they won't too. Unless they want to mess around, role play, etc. *smiles devilishly*
Oh yeah..I've seen some oddities about people writing descriptions about themselves before. Lets say you've added someone on Facebook..someone's self description actually tells a lot about himself/herself.
I absolutely hate descriptions like " I'm a normal dude/ I'm an ordinary girl living an ordinary life, typical mediocre,etc ,etc"
You're directly telling all of us that you're just plain boring. Come on, everyone's unique, has that special 'oomph' in them. Tell us why you're unique. Everyone is, only they're stupid enough to think they're like pixels in a computer, all same.
Another one I', annoyed with is: " I'm me'.
I am me.
That is so freaking obvious.
Okay, you say you are yourself. Can I say NO?
First impressions are important. But in the end it doesnt really matter. If you love someone just by first impressions, you are no better than an Ah Lian.
That's pretty much it..I've got a freaking sore throat and have a raspy voice..that's why I didn't dare to verbally greet Esther :D
I might sound like Marge from The Simpsons instead.
Friday, October 9, 2009
You Very Well Know What I Can Make You Think
Another post, it seems has invaded my blog. :P
You know when I make a post in my blog, it means that I've had this idea maybe weeks ago, only procrastinated so much to put it here NOW. And also the fact that it was a bit hard finding some resources. Yeah, you'd probably call that excuses. Anyway, here it is:
A long, long time ago in a blog not so many clicks away, Esther once put:
Notice the effect? I'll be damned if you can come up right to me and tell me you didn't think something else which was pretty suggestive by that short essay. But it's just our nature, whether it is just us overlooking things and seeing things for what they are really not. Something we take things as so subtle that we forget a lot about its literal translation, and soon find out that nothing else was intended EXCEPT the literal translation itself.
Why so? Because our minds are corrupt. Be proud of it. Lol. Here's another example:
"I want to rip open your tight blue shirt. I want to unwind you and lick your pure white cream. Enjoy, baby...
Enjoy....OREO"
P.S.: If you haven't ate OREOs before, you probably wouldn't understand at all. That makes you an idiot too. :P
Perhaps short sentences or essays like these are purposely meant to stimulate thoughts of the readers. Sure as hell ain't the right thoughts. I honestly don't really like to dub myself in stuffs like these, but today I'll make it an exception:
"You know that day I went to TGI Friday's. And when I went out of there after my dinner I could only say one thing: I like breasts. Soft, smooth, tender, succulent breasts.
Chicken breasts, of course. Served with cheese and sauteed vegetables."
I know it isn't much. But hey, it'll suffice for the moment.
In this post I'd like to invite a guest member :D. He shall help me to further get my point through.
Voila. This is Mick Foley. I'm sure none of you would know him. He's a pro-wrestler.He used to be one of the hardcore legends in the WWE. U know hardcore, where anything goes and it's full of tables, ladders, chairs, bins, sledgehammers, pure blood, sweat and tears.
You can't help idolising him when you watch him in the ring, he can withstand almost any kind of punishment, no doubt he is the legend of Hardcore wrestling.
Okay, so where does he come into the picture?
This.
Oh yeah. His autobiography part two. Okay, alright. I used to have this book, probably bought it at a cheap fair sale where everything must go or they'll end up as toilet paper. Yeah...had it like 5 years ago. Anyway, now I can't find it..darn..
0.0 I think I might have...used it..in the toilet...
Darn, no wonder that last piece of tissue I used was very rough...who ever thought of using a 5 year tissue?!
Okay, so let me get to this part of his book, or whats left of it that escaped the toilet:
" I just recalled an interview I did several years ago that was deemed 'too graphic' even for ECW television. Because it never aired, this is a recollection that is being revealed for the first time. Keep in mind that this interview is being shot in extreme close-up fashion- with only my pained facial expression on the television screen of your imagination:
"You used to be mine, didn't you? Mine and mine alone.I could use you, and that was fine, because no one else could. Now when I lie awake, with you in my arms, I do so with the knowledge you've been held by other men. Used by them. Four or five in a single night. And I've had to watch it all, you cheap whore, and to pretend I like it when I see you go up and down, up and down, again and again, on their swollen throbbing heads. And you expect me not to care. When Tommy Dreamer spreads your legs and lowers himself on top of you for the whole dressing room to see? Well I do care, because I love you, and I always will, and I will always return to the one I love."
Now zoom the camera out to reveal me cradling a steel chair, which I will then passionately make out with until the camera in your mind fades out, you little pervert!
Not bad, huh? Maybe now that I've conquered the New York Times bestseller list, I will attempt that bastion of true creative writing - letters to the Penthouse."
Thanks Mick, now it's Marc again.
It's just the nature of minds that these happen. Lesson to learn: don't be too graphic guys. (and girls)
Such a grand finale for my post. I'm sorry this post took so long. This has indeed been a fun post.
Because...
In the end..
You Very Well Know What I Can Make You Think
Thursday, September 24, 2009
I Started This Out With a Forgotten Point
Aikz, over the past few days I had some stuff I felt like blogging about..AND I FORGOT.
So, till next time then :D
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Course not. Even if I did forget what I tried to put, I'd probably put a bunch of gibberish here, which is maybe..what I'm gonna do now LOL.
I'm not really a fan of putting lyrics in what I post, but I understand if people do, cause sometimes it just represents what they were feeling at the moment.
You know, I do find song interpretation very interesting, not only does it makes the song more meaningful, it also tells you whether to throw the album into the trash, keep it in a dusty drawer or worship it in your CD player. Yeah, certain songs have very nice long, meaningful, beautiful lyrics. But OBVIOUSLY I ain't asking you to interpret what 'disco stick' means :D
Yes, sorry Lady Gaga, but I think we all know how much you love disco sticks..why'd u even call them disco sticks? Is it that they're only found in discos, or colourful? I don't think I might wanna continue on the more detailed specifications of this 'stick'. Ahem. Okay...that was lame and perverse..who cares? :P
.........
Welcome fellow students to Song Interpretation 101! I'm your teacher today and I shall present some very interesting specimens of song lyrics and their interpretation!!!
Example 1:
Fray the strings
Throw the shapes
Hold your breath
Listen!
I am a world before I am a man
I was a creature before I could stand
I will remember before I forget
BEFORE I FORGET THAT!
Interpretation: Uhm....Charles Darwin's theory of evolution!! And he's struggling to remember it?
Example 2:
In the jungle
Welcome to the jungle
Watch it bring you to your
knees, knees
I wanna watch you bleed
Interpretation: Tarzan must've have had some really sore knees before he knew how to swing.
Example 3:
Here I am, rock you like a hurricane
Here I am, rock you like a hurricane
Interpretation: Pretty straightforward..he's getting some amps that can actually blow your brain off.
Example 4:
Mama, we all go to hell.
Mama, we all go to hell.
I'm writing this letter and wishing you well,
Mama, we all go to hell.
Oh, well, now,
Mama, we're all gonna die.
Mama, we're all gonna die.
Stop asking me questions, I'd hate to see you cry,
Mama, we're all gonna die.
Interpretation: He loves his mama very much. Too much, in fact. Mama's Boy.
Example 5:
Take me to the magic of the moment
On a glory night
Where the children of tomorrow dream away
in the wind of change
Interpretation: Now this is a very beautiful, beautiful song..I really love it.
Example 6:
When we start killing
It's all coming down right now
From the nightmare we've created
I want to be awakened somehow
When we start killing it all will be falling down
From the Hell that we're in
All we are is fading away
When we start killing...
When we start killing...
When we start killing...
Interpretation: Stop killing chickens. Hell ain't good for yer health.
Example (I forgot the number so whatever):
Let's have some fun,
This beat is sick
I wanna take a ride on your disco stick
Interpretation: 0.0 wait a sec...wasn't this already resolved?
NEXT!!!!:
That I am stricken and can't let you go
When the heart is cold, there's no hope, and we know
That I am crippled by all that you've done
Into the abyss will I run
Interpretation: The most beautiful love song I've ever heard. Not.
>>>>:
I need you Aquarius,
enchanted I will have to stay.
I feel you Aquarius,
cause you the sea set me free.
You call to me Aquarius.
You call to me, you set me free.
Interpretation: Oh yes, yes. bow to me!!!! Heheeee...(I'm Aquarian btw) xD
Next:
Even flow, thoughts arrive like butterflies
Oh, he dont know, so he chases them away, yeah...ooh...
Oh, someday yet, he'll begin his life again...life again...life again...
Interpretation: How poets do their job. By rebirthing. Baby poets. Not cool.
Class dismissed. You all get E- for not seeing things the way I do. Now get out of my face.
:P.
Thursday, September 17, 2009
Lie With Me
By now obviously the joke of me typing blooger would be lame and so cliched. I know. I just couldn't help doing it.
Yes my dear readers, I haven't been talking here lately.
My poor computer broke down.
My fingers hurt.
I had constipation.
I was er...buzy?
I was bunnymooning (LMAO)
Mozilla had a problem.
I was banned from using the computer.
If you believed my reasons were of one the excuses above, then thank you so, so, so much. But I cannot lie to my fellow gullible readers that I was being plain lazy to type and blog here. Think of the time where I was just sitting here in front of the computer, scratching my head on what to think and write to all of you.
Oh well, I would never ever want to witness a funeral, least of all likely the death of my precious, precious little blog, so here I go...
Anyone who's been in my class before my seen some of the 'crazy' times I have in the classroom.
Yeah, sometimes people gotta have some fun too. Then those nuts in class get all with them weird looks and start asking:
"I think Marc study too much already"
"Marc sit in class too much until become crazy already"
Please. If I wanna go on some psychotic rampage after studying , you guys would be crying out right now. I'm serious. Lol.
People get this stupid misconception that I'm nerdy just because I perform quite okay in my studies. Well screw you, I have a nice motto for all of you:
"I work hard, but play even HARDER"
Please don't take that motto in a wrong sense, I know exactly where it could very well go wrong xD. Over the times, I have stumbled upon many, many quotes, not by reading, but you know when sometimes a good quote pops up you can't help but just look at it and be totally absorced by how the person who made it up could put it in such a brilliant way. Guess humans aren't so stupid after all. Lol.
Sorry guys, I know I haven't been social lately, especially to a certain gelatinous dessert, but please bear with me, you're still my favourite mouth-washer after a meal (mouth-washer = dessert, not Listerine). I just have to find some time..yes, I've been gaming, I cannot deny it, but that doesn't mean friends aren't important to me, especially those I get to see only via MSN.
Over the while I've seen things, and time and time again experience shows me weird people. (boy, this sounds like an extract from a poem). Weird people. Okay, define weird. Weird has so many definitions. Weird in what way? Well, weird in a sense that people are not being themselves. J that day showed me a very brilliant website about 'Ah Lians' which I find to be scarily true yet hilarious. Come on, you have seen those types of people in real life, and what the Japanese/Korean pop culture has done to them. Imitating those orients pretty makes the imitators look like nutheads ( I'm being discreet on bad words) xD.
Trust me, there is no one you can be in real life other than yourself. I bet you've heard that all the time, and it's true!! It's definitely alright to idolise somebody else, but not to the extent you BECOME that person himself. Now that's just creepy. I remember one very famous guy in history (damn I just can remember), he said:
"When you compare yourself to another, you are insulting yourself"
--I don't want to talk about Ah Lians here, but if they think that acting cute and all actually attracts boys, well, think again. Maybe they do. Only dumb ones.
So just be yourself, because everyone would want to be loved for who they are.
"It is not who you are that is preventing you from doing something, but who you think you are not that is"
Sigh..I'm sorry for being so quoty, i try my best to just tell you stuff..
Oh, you might wonder what's with my title. Yeah, I don't fancy lying, I prefer to do bluffs, or rather what I call sarcastic bluffs. Like uhmm..lets take a rabbit for instance, someone asks me, "What's that?" and I'll answer "That's a horse".
Thanks for reading this post, which of course, was just a whole lie.
Joking...or am I?
Maybe I'm lying about the joke about the lie in which I lied..
So what's the truth?
My lie :P.
Tuesday, September 8, 2009
Unholy Touch
I did it again; www.blooger.com. =.=
It's been quite a while since I realised how fun being in a boys school was. I know, the question on whether a same gender school or a co-ed school is better has been a very popular debate topic (and one which is known to always go nowhere). But yeah, speaking from someone who has been in both, maybe my judging will be a lot more rational.
Guys (or girls) might tell me that co-ed is better. Why? The relationships, etc, etc. True, you might have the opposite gender to chase around, that's why i ALWAYS stress on perspective. I don't think that way. I'd rather not burden myself over whether this girl like me, whether she has a crush on me, whether I should make a move. I know better. Anyway, back to same gender schools, if I could describe it in one word it would be: Fun. Real fun in a crazy way. I daresay more crazy than in a pure girl school. I've always asked, what happens if you get to a school full of testosterone?
And that's where I link it to the topic. This ain't no essay, but yeah. In a boy's school, it's very unholy there. LOL. In a dirty way.
You can't pass a day where there are non-obscenities in class, either it's just plain crude language or obscenities. But why? I can say because well, it's all dudes. Welcome to reality at a boy's school. What 'foul' thing you do can be understood, because they're boys too. Do some stupid thing, and instead of being given glares and stares, the whole class starts blurting out in laughter or either some idiot will yell some retort at you. Tell one a dirty thing, get one in return xD
You wouldn't want to know what I call my buds in school. Very naughty stuff.
But come on, it's all play. I'm not sure about you, but a lot of jokes are actually dirty, obscene ones. But here's the misconception: we are dirty minded.
Dirty minded? More like open minded! Okay, so we talk a deal about sexuality. Who doesn't? It's part and parcel of growing up. But we don't talk about DOING it, no, we make stupid jokes. Like what I like to threaten my friends with...example: "Sweep the class or not you will be less endowed by 1 cm (an altered clean version of what I say)"
By nature we teenagers are growing up, hence we tend to turn to more dirty jokes. Naughty stuff. Those who don't, well, maybe you haven't grown up. To me this is all a phase where teenagers go through. But there must be limits. Of course! I ALWAYS HAVE A LIMIT. I don't go simply tell other people about dirty stuff. Yes, because it might be disrespectful.
Respect for others. Yes, that's my limit. Okay, I have to admit. I'm a little dirty minded, but nobody's a clean slate. But you can't expect everyone to be so innocent. Yes, many people would find it very offending to be dirty, That's the norma of society. That's why I limit this open-mindedness to people to whom I can trust has that equal amount of crazyness and open-mindedness as me. When I wanna talk fun trash, I know who I can talk to. That's why to some people when i get excited I don't talk those stuff. Either the fact I'm afraid that you will be offended by what I say, or maybe you're just the opposite gender, and you will not understand my crazyness in this matter. It's awkward to say those stuff to girls as jokes. On a light note, yeah. It's not that I don't trust my friends who are girls with this open-mindedness, it's just I know it will be inappropriate to speak of those stuff to you, and I'm being more of a normal person to you. I can be serious, but everyone has a wild wacky, dirty side to them, its just how people express it.
In the end, I keep my dirtyness to my buds and myself..I'm not dirty minded to the extent of everything I do relates to it. There's a fine line between saying and doing. And in reality I just play along with the fact that people make jokes about them, please don't think of me as a corrupted soul, I'm just like you after all.
Friday, August 14, 2009
Rabies
I accept the challenge of being tagged like a f***nut :D
Be honest, who is the easiest person in your life to talk to?
Myself. Serious.
How did you wake up this morning?
Got annoyed by mum over and over again. She's not my alarm clock, but today I HAD to wake up early and I forgot to.
When was the last time you were in a very good mood?
Sometime this week
What's the weather like outside?
A normal dark night
Are you wearing something you borrowed from someone?
Underwear, teeth, catch phrases, diseases (rabies), etc.
What was the last thing you bought?
Food.
Want someone back in your life?
If you consider pets as 'someone', then yes
How fast does your mood change?
Extremely abruptly. I can be very serious, then become a psychotically crazy xD
What do you want for your next birthday?
Not sure
Name something you dislike about the day you're having?
Nothing really much to dislike..playing RO, no one is online T.T
Is there something from your past you hate talking about?
Yes..the embarassing things i did
How old do you wish you are when you die?
I never look that way.
What does your hair look like?
Now, it's really messed up, and I don't give a damn about it.
Last person you saw other than your family?
The guard at the guardhouse LOL
Would you rather go to a party or out of town?
Party
Do you have someone of the opposite sex you can tell everything to?
Not everything. I can never tell anyone everything. o.O
Who was the last girl friend you talked to not including family?
It's a rabbit.
Who was the last guy friend you talked to not including family?
Joe
Are you afraid of losing the last person who texted you?
Guess that's Connie. Yeah, I can't imagine losing her.
Is there someone that makes you happy everytime you see them?
Yeah..
Would you rather date someone with a British accent or and Irish accent?
Irish..they're more interesting
Who was the first person you thought of this morning?
Joe because he was the first nut that texted me that he was gonna be late =.=
Have you ever thought something would work out, but didn't?
Yes
Was this week good?
So-so
Do you have a bad habit?
my worst: biting nails
Can you sleep in jeans?
Nah..it's kinda uncomfortable
Are you happy with life right now?
It's alright
Someone that can always make you laugh.
Irsyad, the fag.
When is the last time you touched drumsticks?
long time ago
Is it okay to kiss people when you're single?
Hmm..ask me when I'm eighteen and less mature.
Who would make you happy right now?
Some bugger who would accompany me in RO NOW!
Random stuff:
I always type 'www.blooger.com' instead of 'www.blogger.com'. Blooger is good. I like blooger.
Who ever lays eyes on this, you are tagged. You don't do it, rabies shall befall you, and you will get rabies and be like the zombies from L4D.
So do it.
Saturday, August 8, 2009
As Promised
This is the hardest song on GH3, on medium:
Through The Fire and Flames - Dragonforce
I got 89% only, 3 stars T.T Mind the flashes though, hope you don't get seizures :S
Yes, it is amazingly hard to get perfect timing..but it can be said that I can fully play medium, so I moved on to the next level, Hard.
Hard is VERY much different compared to medium. The charts are a lot more complicated, you have to use 5 BUTTONS and of course, the hammer-ons. I'll explain later. I'll show you how hard is, here is the same song as earlier, Stricken by Disturbed, only this time in Hard. It'll show you the differences between Medium and Hard. Sorry bout the crappy volume, blast any more and my mum will kill me.
And this song, whenever i try playing it, always makes me cry...you'll know why:
This'll be the last of the videos..I havent been blogging lately, have been playing most of the time. It's not that I don't wanna blog, it's just the appeal was not there then..maybe now I find some interesting stuff I wanna talk about.
There's nothing much to talk about school..every day I ride school via train back and forth..only thing interesting is that I freaking sleep there. Yes, I sleep there. Sometimes things could get a bit embarassing. Why? Well, sometimes when you sleep upright, your head swings from left to right. Many times I had my head tilted only to quickly upright it again LOL. Lucky I didnt hit the person next to me with my head, even so, the action of drooping my head suddenly must have gave them a scare :D. Most of the times I sleep at the part of the seat where there is a partition beside me. So when I sleep upright, a lot of times my head banged on the partition. I can't remember my head ever drooping there, god knows why it happened. At least that isn't THAT embarassing,,I've seen people sleep in the train with their mouths completely open! A super looper right in the mouth just nice for some flies to enter. I haven't seen anyone snore in the train, though. Once I was going back with my friend. I fell asleep. Only did I know today he took a pic of me sleeping. =.= I deleted it A.S.A.P when I got hold of his phone. Please, there is nothing worth watching in seeing me sleep..Maybe I might just get up and smack somebody, and I'll blame the fact that I'm sleepwalking.
The exam that just ended, to me, was utter rubbish. Another lousy monthly exam planted by my oh-so-apek Headmaster who loves exams so much. Cut us some slack, man. The exams were crap because each paper wasn't the full paper, it was barely half the paper. Could you imagine the number of questions? Take English for example. It only had comprehension and summary. Total marks? 25. One mistake led to a deduction of marks. What a piece of crap. And it's SUBJECTIVE writing, no one could get a perfect 100/100. Plus, you know how the marking scheme is. Overly rigid. That's the problem with the English in Malaysia. They don't allow leniency in language. Another rubbish point. That's the problem with the English in M'sia. Not only English, other subjects too. Too freaking stiff. Stiff until people think stiffly. People lack creativity in thinking SO much these days.
I ask people on how to draw a square with three lines, they can't do it. See?! Not creative at all! How much dirt is there in a hole of dimension 2x2x2, they tell me 8. Is there any dirt in a hole??
Anyway, for English i got a freaking 68. And I was pissed at what a crappy paper it was. So I managed to fight for 4 marks, only to have it taken away. My friend who had the same point with me but didn't get correct complained to teacher. The teacher said I might be wrong too. The first friend, knowing it might cost me wrong, kept mum but some OTHER idiot friend went and told teacher so openly, 'Teacher, Marc got wrong', then snatched the paper from me and showed it to teacher, and thus, she marked me wrong. I was furious, pissed, on fire, all of the above, etc, etc. I left the place, went back to my seat, not without a mini-kick to the chair on the way. Using my anger management skills, i cooled myself down. No argument, no name calling. I just made myself calm. But still, I was so sore. It's not like he was doing for the greater good, no, that idiot made it as though he purposely did it to 'kenakan' me, to hit me at a point. He's always like that.
I know I should be honest. Yes. That's why I'm not angry at him. Initially I was. But then, no. It's not that I was gonna lie and hide I got wrong. You have to trust me when that teacher said I might be wrong, I was scared. Scared of being wrong. The first friend had turned discreet. But I know I should get the wrong and let him be correct, the first friend be correct. But when someone else comes in and makes you get wrong with the intention of wanting to make you wrong, you cannot help to feel a volcanic rage. I forgave him in like 5 mins. Because I realised that without him, maybe I wouldn't have been corrected. I'd rather be honest. Let me get the wrong. I never lie when it comes to exams.
Why am I so much like this? Well, I'm not over-competitive, but I have a rival in class, and usually we compete in class. The English paper was quite a crucial paper.
Till the next time
Thursday, August 6, 2009
Enough With The Heavy
Yes, my blog all ain't all about doom and gloom, so I've decided to show you what I've been over the weekend. It's my hobby game. You guess it out.
Think...
Think...
Think...
Any answer yet?
Look at my Facebook picture, silly!
Yeah, Guitar Hero. I can't seem to get enough of that game. I know, people might say 'play the real thing, asshole', but I don't give a donkey's ass. The game's real cool and how many of you actually get to play electric guitar? I know this game is a mere unreal simulation but hey, it's the experience of playing your fav rock songs that count. :P
I'' just show you a bit of what I play on the normal charts. TURN UP THE VOLUME TO HEAR THE SONG. It's Stricken by Disturbed.
I got 99% on this..sorry bout the quality..apparently my phone's all i have
Next time..I'll show you how I tackle the hardest song on GH3, on medium of course xD
Sunday, July 26, 2009
The Hardest Lesson
I haven't been blogging lately. I did tell you I would when there was something worth blogging. Well, here it is:
There are words that make us
shudder, wince;
Wormwood,persimmon,
Alum, quince.
There are words that soothe,
tranquilize;
Slumbering, rainbows,
Butterflies.
There are words that tighten,
Words that roll;
Tension, turmoil,
Chaos, spoil.
There are words that shimmer,
beguile;
Stars, ships,
Firelight, smile.
And of course,
Words that make our lives full;
Peace, love,
Home, beautiful
Good morning to the panel of distinguished judges, teachers and fellow friends. My speech today is entitled 'Words, Words and Words'. Marvellous aren’t they, words? Such a beautiful instrument that we can experience- hold a second. How is it that you know what my words meant? Ah, yes. With words you are able to understand what my point is, and not some random thought, though I'm sure you wouldn't want to know what I was thinking like, what’s for lunch? Fellow audience, you might ask, what is the reason I speak of words? Nathaniel Hawthorne once spoke of how potent words are for good and evil. Yes, for evil. We all know that words could cut, hence are we all murderers? I confess, I myself am a murderer too. I’m a downright smooth criminal- with words. Isn't it just exciting to use that fantastic, flamboyant, furious, flaming F-word? Very naughty, but is it that fun? Gone were the days when insults had class with words- glorious insults before the English language got boiled down to four-letter words. Who then could truly be a man of words? Ask me and I’ll tell you Winston Churchill, the famous Prime Minister of England during the World War 2. Why? Let’s take a look of an exchange between Winston Churchill and Lady Astor. She told him, "If you were my husband, I'd give you poison" He replied, "If you were my wife, I'd drink it". Don't you see? With a mere clever manipulation of words and wit, you can turn the whole tide of the conversation around Words also give you that extra edge over your speech, what we call ‘the cheek’. Just like what Oscar Wilde said, “Some people spread happiness WHEREVER they go, some, WHENEVER they go”. So, watch what you say, because I will make you eat your words. Fellow audience, when you have the power of an atomic bomb, you have a history worth knowing, Words originated when the Anglo-Saxons spread their Germanic language all over Northern Europe, followed by the Norse invaders, or what we call ‘Vikings’, who spread their own influences into the language. Words might have been used by invaders, but that doesn’t mean we’re invaders right? We’re the killers, remember? Anyway, thanks to an event called The Great Vowel Shift, words were made to pronounce the way they are, no sticky stacky words, just plain, A, E, I, O, U. The progress of words. Flowing with the modern era we are expected to advance with words but now, things just keep getting shorter and shorter. Ladies and gentlemen we are introduced to something called SMSes, which are text messages comprising words, symbols and numerals all combined into one. SMSes have been a scarily popular trend. I was in a daze to discover that my grandmother was an expert at using text messages. Could you imagine that? Often we can hear teachers nagging at students at how a massive complex word could be shortened to like, what say you, two or three acronyms? Acronyms such as 'MYOB' or 'GTH'. 'MYOB' stands for 'Mind your own beeswax!', while 'GTH' stands for 'Go to..heaven' Or is it the other way round? Isn't this all a paradox of society? In modern life we can send people to the moon, we have so many developments in science and technology, yet we still see people using short forms, symbols, squiggles and hieroglyphics in our everyday words! What, and I repeat what is communication technology coming to?
Consequentially, we should learn to love and treasure our words. Remember that atavism is not progress and reverting to an archaic form of writing is not supercalifragilisticexpialidocious. Let us embrace the power of words. A careless word may kindle strife, a cruel word may wreck one’s life. A timely word may level stress, a loving word may heal and bless. P and P on that. No, it’s not a new acronym, it’s called, Pause..and Ponder. Thank you.
There are just so much things in my mind I have right now..I don't think it's appropriate I put it now, please don't ask me to. I just feel sad, disappointed, down and very dissatisfied that I didn't make it to nationals.
In the end, I keep telling myself this quote from The Curious Case Of Benjamin Button (not sure if it's exactly like in the movie):
"You may be as mad as the dogs at what happened, and you might curse the fates at all you've been through, but in the end, you have to let it go"
Friday, July 24, 2009
Verdict
Number 8 had his face boiling. It was unnaturally something that happens at the point when he was stricken with nervousness. It couldn't be helped. Somewhere not so far away, a friend of his spotted him from way across. Saw he had the face of a tomato.
Talking helped. The other contestants were on the same page, in the same boat. They were very friendly. Hmm. Maybe in times of desperation comrades talk to each other. I don't know. I'm just narrating here, how am I supposed to know?! Finally it was his turn. What thoughts went through his mind, he wasn't sure. He just kept telling himself, "Speak normally, you'll know it'll be alright". Thinking is so much easier than doing it.
Then he did it.
Nervous at first.
It just flowed.
He was so exhilarated at the end of it. He knew that he had done alright. The hardest part, or seemingly to him, had ended. Big relief. He was just so 'un-tensed'. He could finally relax, momentarily.
And then number 11 finished. Time for break.
He was just so happy to see his friends. They were beaming at him, giving him the thumbs up. Throughout the break he felt that he had indeed done something so spectacular. The feel of it was truly awesome. And then it came:
Spontaneity time.
Time for quarantine. As usual, the contestants made a 'campfire' in the quarantine area, and jokingly said that they must have had A(H1N1) if they were quarantined. One by one they left. Slowly the place got lonelier and lonelier. Number 8 was thankful that he wasn't the last one to go. If it was, there would be no sailor in the same boat. Shipwreck time.
Being brought to the room where the topic would be given, a plan was made up. Since it was such a long distance to the stage, after given the topic, while walking, there would be much time for him to develop his ideas further. That was the flaw in the plan. They gave 4 minutes in the room to write your ideas, but thoughts also can be processed while you walk, see? That includes an extra half a minute of thinking. Valuable, it was. Upon entering the room, the envelope was given. Opening it, he saw a folded paper which bore the words 'Success' on it, apparently typed on by Microsoft Word. The timer started. Thoughts came rushing. Pencil came into contact with the paper. Point by point was written down. Done. He looked up. The time wasn't finished yet. Odd. He turned to the paper. Tried hard to spark further ideas. Not much hope.
*ring* Time was up. Why does the notation for it always had to be a ring? Walking to the stage, words morphed and developed in his mind. Alright.
Up the stage he goes. Once bitten, twice shy? No way, it was more comfortable once you know the surroundings of your presentation arena. Once again, it rolled. All that was pent up in his mind, unfurled. He just spat it out, hoping it would be relevant and enough for the judges.
Looking back at it now, he was so, so exhilarated and relieved it was over. But is it really over? No.
Yes, no.
Why?
What was the verdict?
He was to bring it on to a further stage.
He made it to the next round.
Okay, but what's the damn verdict?!
First.
Congrats, number 8. I know that he knows he should be humble, and though he can relax for a short moment, he will have to prepare very soon for a bigger challenge a fortnight from now. Happy he might be, but he was not going to be satisfied with an achievement like this.
He was going to go far.
Man's reach exceeds his grasp.
Let's just hope he will do it.
Good luck, number 8.
Thursday, July 16, 2009
To Be Bad
There are always many different ways how people would present their speech. They call this their 'style'. I'm having a competition up very soon. And I don't know, I'll do the best I can. I have practiced quite often. You know the script? Yeah, it's not some thing that's been conjured on the last second. It's been revised over and over again ever since it was made. Well who made it? Yours truly. When? Last year.
If I'm not mistaken, it's been like ten times since my script has been changed. Changed to become shorter, wittier, more interesting. I don't know about this business, really. It's now been finalized, put into battle, if you want to hear that as an exaggeration.
It is never an easy task to do a public speech. Some of you might know. You turn green on stage, get sweaty palms, knees shake, you stutter. That's something even I had to face. That's why they say impromptu is always easier. It is spontaneous after all. But really, it all depends on timing.
Four minutes of thinking, three minute presentation, it's okay.
One minute of thinking, four to five minute presentation, you die.
I had the latter in ISKL. Still lived through the tale.
That's not my main problem. The fixed speech is. Particularly the tension that actually builds up. I actually have a few techniques on how it MIGHT reduce the nervousness, like a friend doing stupid jokes to you before you go up on stage, really cracks you up and makes you more gleeful to start. I actually want to try that. That's why I'm bringing a joker nuthead of a friend with me on that day itself. I won't give you more into detail. Wait 'til the day comes. I'll put it all here, don't worry.
I actually feel pretty strained from this competition. Whether teacher says just do your best, in whatsoever competition that anyone takes part in, there is always the tension to win. Well, screw that. I'm gonna tell myself it doesn't matter. I go there simply just for one thing: To pass my message. But of course, my presentation is also very important. I have practiced, believe me, so many times, and I feel I still haven't perfected it yet. Most of the time nowadays I feel it's okay, it's just the tension before that I have to overcome. Dang it.
Indirectly, I also feel pressure, because last year's national champion was from my school. There is already a standard expected. No one expects me to be just like him, that's alright, but like I said, there is always a certain hidden point of tension in what we do when people achieve such great heights.
And that's where it came. Today. After I did my presentation on Monday, my teacher grabbed some comments from the other teachers. So then she came up to me and said, "Marc, I asked some of the teachers' comments and I agree on them to. Last time, Julius (the winner) had the 'mischief' in his speech. And maybe that's why people don't really get the jokes on your speech. Julius's mischief comes very naturally with him. But you have the goody-goody image, those typical, studious, nerdy image. But don't worry, I'm sure we'll work on that. (how to improve my character on the speech)"
What the bloody hell.
Studious, nerdy?
Of course, I'm not an apple polisher, or what you call a boot licker to teachers, but I have generally a positive image on teachers. They wouldn't say I'm the naughty type.
Obviously she doesn't know what I can do.
Obviously she hasn't seen my other side before.
Obviously she hasn't known what character I can make myself become.
You want mischief?
I'll give you mischief.
Even more than mischief.
Just watch me as I will show you how devious I can become when I talk.
Tuesday, July 14, 2009
Human Nature
I will try to post as frequent as possible. If I expect people to update a lot, well, I myself have to do the same. Before I bring about what I'm gonna post, I actually forgot to post some guidelines (if it's actually needed) in my blog.
1. I will blog whenever there is something WORTH blogging about.
2. I won't talk about those mushy-mushy stuff like some blogs do; my posts will be meaningful :D
3. Please do not flame my blog, if you do not like it, please tell me, I will take it constructively and try to fix/repair/improve whatever it is.
Blog nature, huh? Now, Human Nature. I had been thinking of this for a long time, even I thought of posting this today last night. I would want to take a moment to talk about the King of Pop, Michael Jackson. No. This would not be some sort of memorial where I talked about how great he was, how dearly I missed him, his great contributions, etc, etc.
Of course I do treasure, love and respect him, but the time for mourning is over. If I do talk about those stuff here, you'd probably flame me to hell for putting something so cliched (mind the 'e') in my post. No, don't worry, it's not about that. This will be of course, about HUMAN NATURE.
Human Nature, of course, is one of MJ's songs. When MJ died, the repercussions of shock were felt everywhere around the world. Instantly we could see the aftermath of it. People mourned and rejoiced for the renowned King of Pop. His songs went on the chart again. so many people paid tribute and all exclaimed how much they loved him, loved his music. How they missed him so much.
That's the thing that troubles me, in fact.
Human nature.
Don't we all just stop and look at something for a moment?
We never appreciate something until it's gone.
Just like Michael Jackson. Only when he died did people say how much they appreciate him, how people expressed how sorry they were, only did people raise funds for his memorial. Only then did people listen to his music. What is all this?
Sometime not so long ago, people ridiculed him like mad. Called him Wacko Jacko, gave him great insults, condemned him a child molester, even indirectly forced him to be in a state of recluse. People are hypocrites. I am not surprised that when MJ died, a portion of people mourning for him were actually faking it. And what about his music? Brilliant! I listened to them again, very brilliant. And why is it that only when he dies, only then people remember his music? What happened to it before then? All swallowed by the mainstream, which I consider mostly rubbish these days, compared to MJ's songs. Even though they are more than a decade ago, I can't help loving those songs again. Very catchy. If MJ did not die, I wonder how far back his songs were stuck in oblivion.
Tabloids killed his career. People are like that. You know, my mum was one who felt deeply for the death for MJ for she was a huge fan of him ,and she knew his background. She even went to his 1996 concert in M'sia. She told me something very interesting. She said "Most of the time people never remember your good deeds, only your bad ones". Very true. Bad ones always overshadow the good ones. Take for example this restaurant. It's excellent, you go there all the time. But once, if you happen to find a hair in your soup, by some stupid mistake they did, would you ever go there again? I bet not. Just like MJ. All his good deeds, overshadowed by stupid tabloids. Like that incident in Germany where he hung his baby off the balcony. Instantly he was criticized and condemned by ALL. God, do they even consider what he was doing? He said he was excited to show the fans his baby. True, he said that he did a terrible mistake on that. Okay, we all make mistakes, and MJ was sorry for that, by why couldn't the people forgive him? Tabloids zoomed up on him, all with wholesome criticisms that made everyone forget the ACTUAL reason why he was at Germany in the first place. To get some sort of Humanitarian award for the charity work he's done on the planet. Because of that incident, it totally tarnished his image, the bad over the good.
Another incident is the child molestation case. Come on, how could they think such a thing? They called him weird with children. Look at MJ's background. He never had a childhood, thus making him childish. But people don't understand. He LOVES CHILDREN VERY MUCH. Numerous times he has donated so much money to sick children. He even said "Before I would harm a child, I would slit my wrists". And yet people still want to take advantage of him, accusing him on child molestation. I believe with his background, never having a childhood, hence now loving children so much, he would never have done such a thing. We just love tabloids, follow them like nobody's business. Soon, everybody started turning against him.
I confess, I am ashamed of myself, for I was, too, not to say against him, but I ridiculed him for the things he had done. If only back then I knew his background. Indeed I was embarrassed and if possible, like to apologize for my behavior. Mum told me it was okay. I wondered why? She told me everybody had been blinded. Even La Toya, Jackson's sister, had been estranged with him, for she actually believed that he molested a child. Imagine, your sister who KNOWS who you are and how you feel, believing wrongly.
I think I really feel Jackson deserved better. Life had been unfair to him. At least now, I could imagine him in heaven, as a child again. Living the childhood he never had with his child friends he never had when he was small. Rest in peace, MJ. Away from the cruel human nature. When will we ever learn, people?
Saturday, July 11, 2009
Turning Point
All this happened on the 14th of February this year:
*Trembling, I opened up the sealed envelope. Inside was a slip of folded paper. Immediately the timekeeper started the watch. Damnit! She was quick to watch my movements indeed. No time to waste. I opened the folded paper. There were two topics: Turning Point or Conspiracy. With one minute of time running out, split-second decisions had to be made. I chose...Conspiracy. What happened next, was left to my brains and hands, not my eyes. A voice jerked me. One minute was up. Trembling indeed. You should have seen my hands. Taking the slip of paper on which i wrote my points on, I stepped up to the podium, to face the crowd, to face the Caucasian judges."
I didn't go too well, as I remembered. Maybe I should have talked about turning points. But what do I know about turning points? Turning point of a game? Turning point of a parabolic curve? U-turns? What did I had to last for 4 full minutes of spontaneity?
This post will NOT be about my experiences. No. The only turning point here is that I've finally decided to start a blog and see how it goes. I'm not really doing hardcore gaming at the moment, so I guess I can actually dedicate some time here. Get off my lazy arse and work my fingers. Let you guys know what I think of. And in the process, watch and learn. Yes, this won't be a one-minute idea generation or a four-minute speakout. Marc finally changes his perception of blogs.